


Finding Shepard

by DefinitelyNotMe



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Destroy Ending, F/M, Post-War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-03-26 17:06:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3858322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefinitelyNotMe/pseuds/DefinitelyNotMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A turian survey crew thinks they are doing a routine scope of the Citadel wreckage. Instead they find the body they've been looking for this whole time. Alive.</p><p>My version of finding commander Shepard after the Destroy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A small spin off from a different point of view: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3858967

“We’re the third patrol today. Do you really think we’re going to find anything?” 

“Doubtful. But what else are we going to do until the Mass Relays are functioning again?”

Two turians sat in the back of a shuttle, armed up, but both looking incredibly bored. Since the Mass Relays were currently non-functioning, the surviving turian fleet members had been drawing details the last three days. This shift in particular, was Citadel survey. It had been days since the orange blast had come firing out of the crucible, leaving the fleets stranded, but the Reapers nothing more than mechanic corpses scattered throughout the galaxy. It was a pain to be stuck in the human dominated system, but no one was really complaining. It had been a human who destroyed them after all…

The pilot, a human, spoke over his shoulders to the two. “Approaching the drop zone. You two ready?” As professional as ever, both turians stood, adjusted their visors to turn lights and recording on, gave each other a once over on their armor to check for any obvious defects, ran a self test on guns for malfunctions, and gave the nod to the pilot who set the shuttle down smoothly in a small clearing of the wreckage.

The Citadel was still mostly in tact. The crucible itself was still engaged, power had been reprogrammed to focus on gravity enhancers and oxygen flowing in an attempt to keep any survivors still on board stable. But that meant the lights and any other electricity had been cut. Rumors were circulating that it would never be fully restored and it would become a historical landmark to those lost during the war with the Reapers. Maybe even a tourist attraction one day, knowing humans. To the turians, it was another shift of sweeping for survivors, or any information linking them to what exactly had happened up there. Although the only thing anyone had seen in the last two days had been quick glimpses of the Keepers, scurrying into tunnels and disappearing into darkness. 

The flashlights attached to their rifles lit the area up well enough. “I had heard it was dark down here but, wow they weren’t kidding. This is down right creepy.” The reports had shown that it was Cereberus who had taken over the Citadel in those final hours, moving it into position outside of Earth. There had been attempts to evacuate the place but not everyone made it out. The first day the patrols came to search the Citadel for Commander Shepard, there had been two 10-hour shifts doing nothing but transporting body bags down to Earth for identification. Families had been notified, but so far, the body of Shepard herself had not yet been recovered. 

“Don’t say anything stupid. I’m going to start the recording.” The two exchanged glances before the first held a button on his visor until a small beep was heard. “All right. This is Lieutenant Arcturus, I’m showing 1030 Zulu time. We are currently south of where the bodies of Captain Anderson of the alliance navy and Jack Harper, aka the Illusive man, were located. Scene had traces of blood, tested and confirmed to belong to one Jane Shepard of the alliance navy. Our primary goal for the day is to sweep this area, all findings will be recorded digitally, audio will be intermittent with relationship to any discovery.” He reached back up to turn the audio off, sighing right after. “I hate talking to these things. Isn’t video enough?”

“Apparently not.” And just like that they started moving forwards, sweeping their flashlights from left to right looking for anything that stood out. The chaos of the evacuation left the place looking like a riot had run through. The ground was covered in broken glass, blood smears, and thousands of thermal clips from C-sec desperately trying to keep the Reapers at bay. After a few silent minutes the second Lieutenant spoke up. “Did you read the reports from the first team that touched down here?”

“Yeah. Did you?” 

“Yeah.” A few more minutes of silence. Nothing to look at except abandoned skycars and the overwhelming evidence that C-sec had put up a fight. “I can’t get those images from the tunnels near the beam out of my head. Did you see the pictures in that report? I mean…I don’t even know how many humans were in those piles. Just…mountains of them.”

“I don’t really want to think about it.” He had seen those pictures as well. Seeing the pictures was bad enough, having to be the crew who pulled all the bodies apart and stuffed them into bags had to be even worse. He didn’t want to think about it. Untangling the limbs, sorting out the organs… “Damn you Trox. Why did you have to bring that up? Now it’s all I can think about too.”

Right as Trox was about to apologize he was interrupted by a loud clicking noise that happened directly to the right of him that made him jump. Both lieutenants spun to the right, aimed their guns, and the lights fell upon a single Keeper standing near the entrance to one of their tunnels. “Shit! That scared the crap out of me.”

“Yeah, well you jumping scared the crap out of me!” Arcturus glared at the Keeper and shouted, “You’re lucky I didn’t shoot you!” To his surprise the Keeper slowly started walking towards them. “Oh no you don’t. Stay back!” He aimed the rifle at the Keeper, looked through the sight, about to fire, when Trox put his hand on the barrel and lowered it. “Trox, what…” But before he could finish his sentence Trox cut him off.

“Lt. in all the Citadel reports since the destruction, the Keepers have only ever been seen at a glance and they always run away. This one isn’t.” The two of them waited and watched as the Keeper inched closer before turning around and slowly walking back into the tunnel it came from. It got a few feet in, now only barely visible from the flashlight before it stopped and looked back at the turians. They all stood stone solid in silence before Trox finally spoke up. “I say we follow it.”

“Are you kidding!? I’m not going in there after that thing. Who knows what we’re going to find? What if it attacks us?”

“Keepers have never been aggressive. In the entire history of the Citadel their only job has been staying in the shadows and keeping the place running. The Normandy crew later discovered a theory they were under Reaper control to keep it working as a Mass Relay but…the Reapers are gone. I…” He looked back at the Keeper in the tunnel and started walking towards it. “I’m going to follow it.”

Arcturus stood by himself for a few seconds before cursing and hurrying after him. Together, they crouched down a little to fit into the tunnel and started following the bug like creature further in. It had only been a few minutes, but it felt like hours, when the tunnel finally widened out they walked out into a large dome area. It was completely underground from the rest, they were in the heart of the Citadel now. The walls were lined with holes where Keepers could come in and out except the ceiling was smashed in with rubble fallen all around the area. The Keeper they had been following moved effortlessly around the rubble and started heading towards the center of the room, Trox only a few feet behind him.

Arcturus took this opportunity to turn the audio back on. “Update. I’m showing 1146 zulu time. We followed a Keeper through the tunnels. Current location: unknown. We appear to be in some kind of hive center where the Keepers may have been…”

“CALL THE SHUTTLE IN NOW!” Trox was shouting from inside the wreckage. There was a creaking noise followed by a loud thud before Trox spoke up again. “Spirits…LIUETENANT CALL FOR AN EMERGENCY MED EVAC NOW!” 

Without questioning Arcturus clicked on the radio. “This is Lieutenant Arcturus on the Citadel survey crew. We need an immediate med evac. I repeat we need a med evac. Sending coordinates to you now.” He started moving as quickly as possible through the rubble to get to Trox and when he found him he had the same reaction. “Spirits…”

It was Shepard and she was not in good shape. Her skin was pale and sunken in with dehydration and blood loss, dark circles under her eyes, blood in her hair and smeared across her armor in multiple places. One leg had been completely crushed by a beam that Trox had only just now thrown off of her. The missing chunks of her armor showed wounds that were barely holding together from a medi-gel repair likely from days ago. She was out cold, unresponsive, but when he put his face near hers he could feel her faintly breathing. 

His radio cracked. “Lt. this is evac. We are at the coordinates but you must be under ground, we aren’t seeing you.” Without missing a beat both Turians got to work. Dropping their guns, Trox grabbed under her arms and Arcturus got her at the knees. Running in unison the headed back out the tunnel they came from. Arcturus was barking orders while kicking up the pace. “Track our position. We’re heading out through the tunnels.”

At least evac was on point. As soon as the tunnel widened and they reemerged, the shuttle was ready, doors open, and running. They hurried to the side; set Shepard down and with no questions asked the technicians got to work. They started unfastening her armor, running scans with omni tools, an IV with fluids was in, the doors shut, and the shuttle took off in a hurry. Both turians stood there, out of breath and completely in awe of the how that all just played out. It was so quiet on the Citadel again. It was like nothing had even happened. After a minute of silence, Arcturus pressed him comm device. “General Vakarian? This is Lt. Arcturus. You’re not gonna believe what just happened…”


	2. The Grand Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard wakes up in an unfamiliar ship after her rescue from the Citadel. How much time has she lost? Another year? More? And how did she get here in the first place?

The first time she opened her eyes it was nothing but a blinding light. She closed them again tightly, squeezing out the pain. A few more attempts and now the room had color and shapes. A couple more blinks and things were finally starting to come into focus.

_Where am I?_

It was a hospital room. That much was clear. She followed the IV lines next to her down where they went into her arm. There was one main contraption sticking out from the soft spot of her elbow and the three lines connected to drain in at once. A small band around her wrist kept tightening and loosening, checking her blood pressure and other vitals. With a groan she started checking herself. She could wiggle her toes, she could roll her ankles, knees could bend, fingers, wrist, elbows, shoulders. Carefully she put her hands on the mattress and pushed herself up into a sitting position. Her spine ached and her neck popped but she made it up. From this height she could see now her room had windows that showed the hallway outside. And another window behind that gave her a familiar view of space. Right now they must be simulating nighttime for patients because the interior lights inside the ship were dimmed.

_But what ship? Cerberus? Alliance?_

She brought her hands to her face, trying desperately to recall what the last thing that happened was. As she went to run her hands through her hair, she found none. They had shaved her head. She ran her hands over it a few times, actually enjoying the sensation the shaved hairs gave her hands. Her fingers brushed across an area she could only image were once stitches, removed, and then medi-gelled back over to reform skin. Her fingers trailed down her face finding similar recovery areas. She pulled the blankets off and the shock started to set in.

_What happened to me?_

Her whole body was covered with recovery areas. It looked like her whole left side had undergone work. And she was relatively certain this wasn’t the same right leg she used to have. When she reached down to touch it she recognized the feel of the cybernetics. The entire limb was fake. Meshed well, some serious money must have gone in to make it look real but, Shepard could tell. She wanted to test it. Dragging her legs off the bed took more effort than she anticipated Everything felt so sore. She placed her feet on the cold marble floors and slowly added weight. It was difficult and she felt so many of her joints ache under the pressure she had apparently been off of for so long, but she could stand, with one hand still carefully on the bed. Just as she was about to try to take a step, a turian guard walked past her windows and glanced over.

He froze. She froze. They stared at each other. The silence was unforgiving. She slowly raised her eyebrows and he slowly raised his hand to his comm device. The device cracked over, “What is it officer?” Between the glass the voices were kind of muffled but since it was safe to assume everyone else on this ship was asleep, she could hear him okay. The turian spoke back, “Could you send General Vakarian down here. He needs to see this.”

The radio spoke back with concern. “Is there a problem?” They were both still staring at each other, unmoving. “I’m staring at Commander Shepard right now.” Another second of silence before the radio replied, with some sarcasm added in. “And? You’ve been here for weeks officer, you know she’s here.” _Weeks?_ The turian replied. “Control…She is staring back at me.” The comm device clicked off with a hurry.

Shepard had a few moments to size him up. He was likely from the turian fleet judging by his armor but he was lightly armed. He wasn’t even carrying his gun, just a pistol on his hip. The lackadaisical way he walked by before he spotted her suggested this was a routine job. Never much excitement, standard patrol. _Some kind of hospital security?_

From down the hallway Shepard could hear people running towards them. She was still standing there, generally confused by how this was playing out, so she didn’t want to sit back down on the bed just yet. She didn’t want to look as sore as she felt. In case this was a Cerberus ship, she didn’t want them to know the fight wasn’t currently in her. The door slid open and Garrus stood there, mouth agape, with Miranda just a foot behind him, also looking like she had seen a ghost.

Cautiously, Garrus stepped in. He put his hands up innocently as if to let Shepard know he meant her no harm. “Hey Shepard. It’s me, Garrus. Do you remember me? We fought Saren and the geth together. And then some Collectors, followed by Reapers…” She raised an eyebrow at him. She looked to Miranda as if she may have some guidance and when Miranda said nothing she refocused her attention on her turian friend. “Garrus…why are you acting like I don’t know who you are?” He and Miranda exchanged glances before finally he let out a sigh of relief.

“Spirits…Shepard you really are invincible. You know that right?” Miranda had also relaxed, she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. “Sit down Shepard. We have a lot to catch you up on. Starting with the fact that you’ve been in this hospital for weeks and we weren’t sure your memory was going to be intact when you awoke.” She moved over and pulled a flashlight out from a drawer. Shepard carefully eased herself back into the bed while Miranda started waving the flashlight in front of her eyes.

Shepard blinked a few times before swatting the flashlight away. “Can you stop blinding me and start telling me what’s going on please?”

Garrus grabbed the chair that was pushed into the desk in the room and slid it over to be closer to Shepard’s bed. Miranda put a hand on her hip and started. And she was right; Shepard had a lot to be caught up on. Miranda started with the fight with the Reapers, this much she already knew. Curing the genophage, shooting councilor Udina, assaulting the Illusive mans main base…But when she got to the part where Shepard was on Earth to fight the Reapers once and for all, it started to get fuzzy. She had no recollection of being sucked into the beam, of seeing Anderson or the Illusive Man, both of whom were apparently dead. She had done something to fire the crucible, but whatever it was, it was gone from her memory. The story of the turian soldiers finding her almost dead on the Citadel…

“Fuck.” Shepard was in complete disbelief at how much of her memory was really gone. Those final hours were so hard to remember. Garrus adjusted the way he was sitting on the chair. They had been in there talking for almost an hour now. Miranda added in a little more. “You were the closest to the blast when it went off Shepard. We were all swallowed by it but you were there. The radiation could have ruined your memory, or maybe it was just the fall through the Citadel. It’s a relief to see how much of your memory is still yours but…it doesn’t answer any of the questions as to how Anderson or the Illusive Man died. Or even how you managed to get the crucible to fire. We never did find out what the catalyst was it doesn’t look like we ever will.”

Shepard spoke up again. “What about Javik? Can’t he touch the area and get the memories?”

Garrus replied. “We tried that. He said he couldn’t get anything. It was all flashes of the Citadel being evacuated and humans being sucked into the beam…rather violently I might add…”

The commander looked between the two of them and finally sighed in defeat. “Then…what’s next?”

Miranda smiled and ran a loving hand over Shepard’s shaved head. “First things first, you need to see your crew. They’ve all been on edge waiting for you to wake up. Jack is going to love what you’ve done with your hair.”

That made Shepard smile, but then it occurred to her Miranda didn’t bring up her crew members. “Is everyone alive? Did everyone make it?”

Garrus answered. “Mostly. You remember we lost Thane on the Citadel?” Shepard nodded. She hadn’t thought about it since she woke up but, yes she remembered. “Joker is still pretty upset about EDI, and the Quarians have set up a memorial for the Geth.”

Shepard looked confused. “What happened to EDI? I thought you said the Normandy was intact and docked on Earth.”

Miranda looked away for a second. “It’s been weeks. I forgot this would be news to you.”

“What would be news to me?” The suspense was making her anxious. Garrus had also looked away now, staring out the window as if trying to ignore this conversation entirely. “One of you tell me what’s going on.”

It was Miranda who answered. “Shepard, the blast from the Crucible. It destroyed the Reapers. Took them offline throughout the entire galaxy but…it took all the artificial intelligence with it. EDI is no longer functional. And the Geth have been wiped out.”

Shepard swallowed hard. After everything she had risked to make sure the Geth were viewed as true life…rewriting the Heretics, cleaning the Reaper influence out of the Geth consensus, literately punching a turian admiral and yelling at their entire fleet until they stood down and let Legion give the Geth his code so that they understood life…It was all for nothing. She had destroyed them in the end anyways. And EDI? She had trusted EDI more than some of her friends. A quick memory of EDI on Earth flashed across her mind, where EDI admitted she was afraid of dying, forced Shepard to bury her face in her hands. 

_Did I do this?_

Miranda started gently running her fingers across Shepard’s arm. She was whispering now. “Shepard, you didn’t do anything wrong. You stopped the Reapers. That was your mission and you did it. You saved the galaxy, and broke the cycle once and for all. We all knew there would be causalities. There was nothing you could have done differently.”

But was there? How could Miranda know if that was true? No one knew what happened up on the Citadel, not even Shepard anymore. What if there were other options? What if she could have done something differently to save the Geth? She nodded and accepted Miranda’s words as comfort but something in the back of her mind told her that wasn’t true. 

After a few more minutes Miranda pulled Shepard’s face up to hers and smiled. “Come on Commander. Let’s get you out of this hospital gown and into some normal clothes. Your crew is going to want to see you.”


	3. Back From the Dead...Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finally gets the opportunity to see her crew after her recovery in the hospital. They're glad to see her, but they've come with bad news.

Well she was dressed! Shepard was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, completely out of breath. Simply changing into real clothes had taken a toll on her. She probably wouldn’t have been able to do it at all if Miranda hadn’t been there to help. And she wasn’t even wearing anything elaborate. Just some of the default clothes the hospital had for patients. They looked a lot like scrubs actually…

“Miranda, I look like a nurse.”

Her biotic friend only laughed. “We can put you back in the gown if you prefer.”

Shepard sighed with annoyance. “No but…” She hadn’t seen her crew in weeks. It didn’t feel like weeks to Shepard since she had been unconscious for most of it. But to them, she was back from the dead. Again. She wanted to be more presentable. She was already nervous. 

Miranda must have been able to sense it. She ran her fingers up and down Shepard’s arms a few times and smiled. “They’re going to be happy just to see you alive. I promise.”

“I know…” She swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and slowly eased herself from off the bed and onto her feet. She still wasn’t used to the synthetic leg. It threw her weight off, and took the feeling away. The limb wasn’t completely numb but it wasn’t the same. When she ran her fingers over her left leg, it tickled and gave her chills. When she ran her fingers over her right leg, something in her brain registered that her leg was being touched, but not the specifics of the sensation. 

Miranda walked patiently beside the commander. She put one hand on Shepard’s back to stabilize her and help her keep her balance. Naturally, Shepard did not want his help but she knew better than to refuse. Together, they made slow progress out of the hospital room and down the hallway. In truth, Shepard had no idea where she was going. She hadn’t actually left the room before. She was letting Miranda lead while she had her attention on her feet, struggling with every other step.

She made an aggravated noise. “This is so stupid. I can’t even walk.”

“You’re walking just fine, Shepard. If you would stop looking at your feet and just look where you’re going, no one would even know you’re struggling.”

A second angry noise. But regardless, she picked her head up and tried to pretend like she was fine. A little bit of sweat was forming on her brow. She wiped it off with the back of her arm, ran an annoyed hand through her hair…oh wait. Like always, the feeling of her shaved head surprised her. She stopped walking, looking at Miranda in desperation. “I don’t know if I can do this yet. They’re expecting their commander back and I’m not…I’m a mess.”

Miranda’s patience was a virtue. Her smile never broke. “If you want to get technical, they were expecting a body bag.”

Surprisingly, that worked. Shepard gave a short laugh and nodded. Miranda was right. Shepard was the closest thing to a zombie the galaxy had ever seen. Next to Javik… She started walking forwards again. She gave up trying to look tough and let herself focus on her feet. It may not have looked as cool, but it would look even worse if she tripped and fell.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Kaidan didn’t know if he was going to pass out or throw up. When the news had first trickled down that Shepard was alive, he had just about fainted. Hackett had allowed him and Liara to be the first to see her but when he did, she was far from okay. It had wrecked him seeing her like that. Unconscious, in a hospital bed, the medi-gel hadn’t healed over the stitches yet, so many different tubes feeding her everything she needed through IV’s. They didn’t know how long it would take for her to fully recover. It was a miracle Shepard was even breathing. 

Every other day Kaidan would ask Cortez or Vega to fly the shuttle out to the hospital cruiser so he could visit her. Only brief visits. He’d check her records, see if anything was new. Check her vitals himself just in case the nurses missed something. And then back to Earth. If he could, he would have spent every second there next to her, but Earth was still in rough shape, and the rebuilding efforts needed all the help they could get. He had to take faith that Miranda would let him know if anything changed.

And two hours ago, Miranda had called to let him know it had changed. She didn’t give him details (which pissed him off). Only told him to round up as much of the Normandy crew that he could find and get them up here. Now Vega and Cortez were standing by the coffee machine, arguing over which was superior: pistols or shotguns. Kasumi was sitting a few feet away from them, listening to their argument with a smirk on her face but not contributing to the conversation. Liara was sitting in the chair next to Kaidan reading messages on her omni tool. And finally, Zaeed was standing a few feet behind, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. 

They were all he could get together in short notice. Kaidan looked over to Liara. “Hey did you message the rest of the team…tell them what’s going on?”

Liara seemed so calm. “Yes. I told them Miranda asked us to come here and that when we knew more information, we would tell them.”

Kaidan was not calm. His knees were shaking, he couldn’t stop wringing his hands, and he was fighting back a headache. Liara gave him a comforting smile. “Don’t worry. I think it’s very unlikely that Miranda would have asked us to come up here for bad news.”

He tried to smile back. It was forced but the asari appreciated the gesture all the same. In the back of Kaidan’s mind though, was what if she was wrong. _What if Shepard didn’t make it? What if after all that she died in her sleep? What if Miranda wants to tell us in person that Shepard is no longer with us? After all this…what if…_ Kaidan’s thought process was interrupted by Zaeed saying, “I don’t believe it.” 

Liara gasped. Kaidan whipped his head around and before he knew what he was doing he stood up. There she was. She hadn’t looked up at them yet. She was looking down at her feet, frustration clearly written across her expression. Each step was taking her effort. Miranda was guiding her, keeping her balance. But she was awake. She was alive. She was walking. When Shepard finally looked up, their eyes met, and his heart immediately fell into his stomach.

It was subtle, but after a moment of holding his gaze, she smiled. He cleared the room, taking off at a run, realizing that was probably awkward, slowing down just in time to stop in front of her. Kaidan was completely speechless. He didn’t know how fragile she might be, so he gently put his arms around her waist and buried his face into her neck. Her hands ran across his shoulders, up his neck, into his hair, and held him like that. Somewhere behind them, people were clapping.

Vega’s voice broke the intimate moment. “Holy shit Commander! Back from the dead and already back on your feet. I don’t know how you do it, Lola.” 

She laughed into Kaidan’s ear. The sound of it gave him chills. He pulled back from their embrace and let himself give her a once over. Most of the scars had healed over. He had seen her when she was out cold so the shock of her not having any hair had faded. When he focused on it for a second she could tell where his gaze had gone and in response she ran a timid hand over the short hairs. “Don’t tell Jack. Just let her see it for herself.”

The rest of the crew was closing in on their position. He didn’t want to let her go. Slowly his hands fall from her back, so that everyone else could get a turn. Kasumi approved of the hair style, Cortez was holding back tears, Vega hugged her a little too hard and Kaidan could see the pain wince in her eyes, Liara had placed her forehead against Shepards for a few moments until they both started to cry a little, and then Zaeed told the commander to “Goddam knock it off” before he hugged her as well. 

Shepard gave a short shrug before looking up at Kaidan. “Think you could escort me to the couches? I really want to sit down.”

“Yeah of course.” He put a hand on her back, much like Miranda had been doing, and walked over to the waiting area with her where everyone could follow and take a seat. 

It was Vega who spoke up first. “What happened to Garrus? I thought he was up here with you guys?”

Miranda answered. “He’s still here. He’s in the communications room in the back on a conference call. It sounds like the Turians have got their mass relay working again and they want an update on when the fleets will be returning to Palaven.”

The conversation continued around them. Liara gave Miranda updates from around the galaxy. Asari had their mass relay working, the quarians had fixed two, the combined efforts of those who had fought on Earth would have the relay leaving their Local Cluster working soon enough. But while everyone talked, Kaidan intertwined his fingers with Shepard’s. When he looked up at her, she was already looking back at him. He smirked, “You kept me waiting, Commander.”

A very familiar smile shot back at him. She remarked, “At least I showed up.” He pulled her hand up to his lips so that he could kiss the back of it. He wanted to pull her in closer, kiss her properly. And two for two, Vega interrupted again.

“So commander. Now that you’ve rejoined the world of the living, what do you want to do first?”

Shepard could see the annoyance on Kaidan’s face and it made her chuckle. She let Kaidan keep her hand but she turned her attention on to her Lieutenant. “I want to get back to Earth.”

That surprised Miranda. “Not so soon Shepard. You’ve still got a long recovery ahead of you.”

Nonsense. “And I’ve got a med bay on board the Normandy. I know Earth is still in rough shape, and I may not be able to help with the heavy lifting but I want to be down there. I want people to know I’m alive and not with Cerberus this time.”

An awkward silence settled around the room. Shepard suddenly got anxious. “What?”

Kaidan ran his thumb over the back of her hand. “Shepard…the alliance is doing all it can to make sure everyone knows you did the right thing.”

“Okay?” The confusion was only getting thicker. 

Cortez decided to spare her the run around. “Look Commander I’ll give it to you straight. 90% of the galaxies population knows that you saved us all and destroyed the Reapers. But Cerberus uncovered some of the Illusive mans files. We don’t know how or what was actually in them but they’re trying really hard to make you look bad. And there are a handful of fanatics who believe it.”

“In what way?” She was no longer confused. Now she was angry. 

“The Illusive mans files said the crucible would let you control the Reapers. Not destroy them. Cerberus is telling people you sabotaged it so that you could destroy synthetic life at the same time. That the Reapers could be working for us instead of being destroyed. That…” Cortez made little quotation marks with his hands. “you never let go of your hatred for the geth.” 

She pulled her hand away from Kaidan’s and pointed at Cortez. “That’s bullshit. Everyone who was on board the Normandy knows that’s bullshit. I went out of my way to make sure the geth were given a chance and this…”

“You’re right. It is bullshit.” Garrus had finally rejoined the party. Vega and Cortez both stood up to shake his hand and exchange the usual short pleasantries of ‘how’s it going’ and ‘good to see you’. The turian put his attention on Liara. “Have we made any progress?”

She opened up her omni tool. “Not quite, but we’re getting close.” She explained before Shepard could ask. “Cerberus has been putting out these propaganda transmissions from their outposts that survived the war. I’ve been using my contacts to try and track them down. With so many of the Mass Relays still non-operational, it’s hard for my contacts to trace an exact location. You’ve done enough for us Shepard. It’s time for us to start doing something for you. Garrus and I are going to take care of these outposts once the relay leaving this cluster is functioning. You just focus on your recovery.” 

On any other day, Shepard would have demanded she be a part of the operation. She didn’t want her problems put on anyone else. She wanted to be there when they raided the last of the Cerberus areas. But all she could think about right now was how much effort it took her simply to walk down the hallway to the waiting area. She looked down at her replaced limb before closing her eyes and nodding. “Let me know…how I can help. If I can help…”

Kaidan was quick to grab her hand again. She let him, and gave him an apologetic smile. She shouldn’t have snatched it away in the first place. Determined to make light of the situation Kaidan spoke up again. “Let’s finish out the week here, and Monday morning we’ll fly you back down to Earth for a visit. Deal?”

Shepard sighed and gave a short nod. “Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback welcome! This is my first attempt.


End file.
